Will I ever be capable of falling in love again, or will I end up all by myself? These are the questions that often come to mind of the newly divorced singletons. Ending a marriage is a very emotionally exhausting and, for some, even traumatic experience. You might have a feeling that you can never love again, especially in your mature age. But there is a lot of proof that finding love again after a divorce is possible.
We have witnessed a lot of people building a brand new romantic companionship and falling in love! The fact that you have lived through such a negative situation as separation from your ex-spouse should teach you a great life lesson. After divorce, singletons tend to know what qualities they need to look out in a potential partner and what personality traits they are the most compatible with. As a result, the quality of your next relationship should be a lot better (of course, if you do your homework and assess what went wrong in your past romantic alliance).
How to handle romantic life after a divorce
Once you feel like you are prepared and emotionally ready to start seeing other people, the chemistry and connection should come naturally. Yet, it is beneficial to acknowledge a few things to keep in mind before you start dating new people. You have probably been out of the dating game for a long time, hence, knowing a few dos and don’ts would surely help. Below we have gathered a few expert tips of how to find love in the era of the internet and dating applications.
There isn’t such thing as your «type»
It is normal for everyone to change their opinions, sense of style and same goes to taste, especially in lovers. If you fell in love with your ex, it does not mean that your future relationship should be with their identical twin. In fact, having a divorce should help your idea of that perfect person evolve. Yes, you might have some core values that you place as the most important and must be present in your future potential suitor.
Do not give a lot of attention to their appearance and remain open-minded towards the opportunities you get faced with on your life path. This way, you can avoid projecting your ex’s qualities onto your new partner and save yourself from dating their psychological and physical twin.
Are you ready to build a new relationship with a new person?
Perhaps, this tip is the most fundamental — get over your ex first, only then start seeing other people. Going on dates and keeping your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend in mind is never a good idea. Not only you are fooling the other person, but you are also actually trying to fool yourself, too. All of us have feelings, and it is absolutely normal to keep thinking about your spouse and divorce. Take some time to live through your resentments and heal.
Once you feel like you returned to your emotional safe ground and mentally let go of your ex, you can start hanging-out with new people again. Remember that it is normal to take time and do not rush things with other people, even if your friends suggest you should start seeing someone straight away. The decision to start a new relationship should come from your heart and from the chemistry between you and your potential suitor, and not be forced by friends, or by the idea of revenge.
Great chemistry does not equal a relationship
After staying in a monogamous relationship for a long time, people sometimes feel the urge to experience lust and excitement in their lives. However, relationship experts and psychologists recommend restraining from rushed decisions in favour of moment’s pleasure. It’s understandable that after getting a divorce you might want to let loose and refresh your routine life with fresh exciting memories.
Still, it is better not to go for relationships fuelled exclusively by chemistry as they rarely work out to be long-term connections. It is generally better not to place so much importance on lust anyway. People can develop chemistry overtime, this is the most prevailing in women, as according to research a lot of women admit that the chemistry for their partner increases as the number of dates they have been on increases too.
Our advice is to take things slow at first
If you are actually looking to build a genuine and a long-term connection after the divorce, it is better to not to rush it with your new lover. When your potential suitor sees that you take this relationship seriously and prefer to wait to get to know them on a deeper level before moving to the intimate stage, it is going to indicate the purity of your interest and intentions to them. They will see you are a trustworthy and a serious person, whereas going to the further stages of a relationship, even if the desire is mutual, might add a confusion in your brand-new romance.
Stay honest with your kids, if any
Finding love after divorce with children can be challenging, but definitely possible. If the situation with small children is slightly easier, teenagers might find it difficult to accept the changes. Therefore, it is generally better to stay honest with your kids and tell them that your new boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to replace the other parent. It is vital to establish that the fact that their parents have their own private life is not going to affect your relationship with them. Moreover, your new partner needs to understand that he or she is better to restrain from engaging in parenting of kids that are not theirs, unless you specifically ask for it.
Listen to what your gut feeling tells you
After you read all of the above tips, the idea of finding love again after divorce should become clearer in your mind. The above tips are covering all directions your relationship might take and, we hope, they have provided an insight into what it is like to build a relationship with a new person. Nowadays, age has become not as important as it used to be in the past.
The boundaries are slowly shifting and humans’ lives become longer, therefore, leaving enough time to build a few meaningful relationships throughout the lifetime. Maybe, we are not as monogamous as we used to think? Anyways, it has become a new norm to get married more than once. At the end of the day, we all make mistakes, don’t we?
Even with the above advice on building a relationship after a divorce, the most important thing that we can undertake to make our days on earth happy is to listen to our intuition and always go with the flow. This is the road to the ultimate happiness.
Dating after divorce in the era of the Internet
If you have been in a long committed relationship you have just come out of, there is a great chance that you have missed the new trends in dating and relationships. Twenty years ago, meeting strangers on the Internet and then ending up as partners was something unbelievable. However, this is how everyone meets each other today — dating apps. Once you feel you are ready to date again, make sure to give them a shot.
There are solutions made specifically for people who are looking to find true love after divorce in a mature age. It is free of charge to get an account there and start browsing profiles of singletons. These people find themselves in a similar situation as you and therefore, it would be a lot easier to establish connection and find genuine soulmates! Another great thing about searching for a soulmate online is that you can chat with a few people at once, which will enable you to choose the person you feel you are the most compatible with.
By talking to more people, you increase the chances to meet your soulmate, as you can see which one sparks your interest more! Finding love has never been easier than today. Even after such negative events as divorce, with the power of dating applications, the Internet and your pure and genuine heart, you should never stop believing in love!